HAVE PROBLEM WITH FAMILY MEMBERS??
1-Coping with Strict Parent
Sometimes parents set rules because they fear for their children’s safety,besides, parents set rules because they don’t think that their children can do it for themselves, and on the other hand, the rules is to stay in control or to bring about a desired outcome or simply because they can.
Often teens don’t recognise that they have strict parents until they brush up against a rule that they don’t like. If this is the case for you, don’t bother yelling and screaming about the unfairness of it all because chances are you’re parents will ignore you until you yell yourself hoarse. Instead, meet your parents in the middle. Ask them to sit down with you to discuss:
* Every rule under which you operate.
* The rules that you understand and respect.
* The rules that you feel are unfair.
* The reasons why you feel that these rules are unfair.
* The reasons why your parents feel that the disputed rules are necessary.
* Possible compromises regarding rules that could be relaxed.
If your past behaviour leaves your parents rolling their eyes at your level of responsibility, offer to show that you are serious about the compromises that you have suggested. Don’t just give them empty promises, but rather let your parents see your intentions in your actions. Consider:
* Drawing up a contract that you are willing to sign regarding the compromise rules.
* Suggesting appropriate punishments in the event that a compromise rule is broken.
* Offering to take on extra responsibilities at home in order to compromise on some of the household rules – or better yet, just start taking them on.
In order to succeed in coping with strict parents you’ll need to not only show that you are serious about changes in their rules, but that you can be a serious teen as well. Stay calm and collected at all times when discussing your parents’ rules, and avoid:
* Raising your voice.
* Interrupting others.
* Whining.
* Running away.
* Throwing/kicking/hitting things.
* Slamming doors.
If, despite your best efforts, your parents refuse to budge regarding the rules of their regime then you may need to ask for help from other adults. Remember, you’ll need to be totally committed and truly believe that your parents’ rules are outrageous or you’ll run the risk of looking immature and/or insincere. If you remain committed to change, then enlist the aid of:
* A relative or family friend.
* A teacher or guidance counsellor.
* A member of the clergy close to your family.
* A private or family therapist.
* A trained mediator.
Most parents make rules in the best interest of their children, but sometimes they go a little overboard. If you are coping with strict parents, do your best to speak with them seriously about their rules and the effect that they are having on your life. Show your parents that you are committed to compromising and you might be pleased with the results. But if things don’t go your way and you truly believe that your strict parents are affecting your life, then consider asking for help from another trusted adult. Whatever you do, be ready to commit fully to any compromises that your parents offer and don’t ever make them regret their decision. Remember, regaining lost trust will be harder than it was to bring about a compromise in the first place.
2-SIBLINGS PROBLEM
* They are bored.
* They are hungry or tired, both of which will make them irritable.
* They feel competitive with you.
* They are feeling lonely or in need of attention.
* They are still too young to be mature and logical.
* They are having a hard time at school, with their friends or in a relationship.
* They still bear a grudge from a past argument.
* They don't understand your habits or preferences.
* They have suffered through a recent traumatic event.
* Be the bigger person. Sidestep remarks or actions that are meant to open a fight.
* Ignore patronising or teasing behaviour.
* Find a hobby that you can carry out alone and away from the risk of fighting.
* Get out of the house if you feel an argument coming on.
* Offer to involve your siblings in your plans, if they can behave appropriately.
* Open an honest discussion with your siblings. See if anything is bothering them.
* Enlist the aid of your parents or another trusted adult if you are worried.
* Learn to compromise. No one likes to feel like the loser.
* Let it end. Don't tease or taunt when an argument is meant to be finished.
* Remain calm. Nothing productive will be achieved by yelling or slamming doors.
* Remove yourself before an argument can become violent.
* Know what you want. If you don't want to achieve something, then why are you fighting?
* Ask someone outside of the conflict to mediate. Agree to follow their decision.
* Not bear a grudge. Nothing will ever be solved if you must revisit a past argument all the time.
Dealing with your siblings can be frustrating and tiring, but it must be done if you want any sort of peace when you are at home. Think about them like roommates, and realise that resolving arguments with your siblings will be good practice for the future. Most fights can be sorted by remaining calm and rational.
How to cope it???
MEET IN THE MIDDLE
MEET IN THE MIDDLE
Often teens don’t recognise that they have strict parents until they brush up against a rule that they don’t like. If this is the case for you, don’t bother yelling and screaming about the unfairness of it all because chances are you’re parents will ignore you until you yell yourself hoarse. Instead, meet your parents in the middle. Ask them to sit down with you to discuss:
* Every rule under which you operate.
* The rules that you understand and respect.
* The rules that you feel are unfair.
* The reasons why you feel that these rules are unfair.
* The reasons why your parents feel that the disputed rules are necessary.
* Possible compromises regarding rules that could be relaxed.
Show that You are Serious
If your past behaviour leaves your parents rolling their eyes at your level of responsibility, offer to show that you are serious about the compromises that you have suggested. Don’t just give them empty promises, but rather let your parents see your intentions in your actions. Consider:
* Drawing up a contract that you are willing to sign regarding the compromise rules.
* Suggesting appropriate punishments in the event that a compromise rule is broken.
* Offering to take on extra responsibilities at home in order to compromise on some of the household rules – or better yet, just start taking them on.
Stay Calm and Collected
In order to succeed in coping with strict parents you’ll need to not only show that you are serious about changes in their rules, but that you can be a serious teen as well. Stay calm and collected at all times when discussing your parents’ rules, and avoid:
* Raising your voice.
* Interrupting others.
* Whining.
* Running away.
* Throwing/kicking/hitting things.
* Slamming doors.
Ask for Help
If, despite your best efforts, your parents refuse to budge regarding the rules of their regime then you may need to ask for help from other adults. Remember, you’ll need to be totally committed and truly believe that your parents’ rules are outrageous or you’ll run the risk of looking immature and/or insincere. If you remain committed to change, then enlist the aid of:
* A relative or family friend.
* A teacher or guidance counsellor.
* A member of the clergy close to your family.
* A private or family therapist.
* A trained mediator.
Most parents make rules in the best interest of their children, but sometimes they go a little overboard. If you are coping with strict parents, do your best to speak with them seriously about their rules and the effect that they are having on your life. Show your parents that you are committed to compromising and you might be pleased with the results. But if things don’t go your way and you truly believe that your strict parents are affecting your life, then consider asking for help from another trusted adult. Whatever you do, be ready to commit fully to any compromises that your parents offer and don’t ever make them regret their decision. Remember, regaining lost trust will be harder than it was to bring about a compromise in the first place.
2-SIBLINGS PROBLEM
Find the Root Cause
Sibling conflicts always have a root cause. That is not to say that all of the causes are justifiable, but it's important to know why a conflict has occurred. Often when teenagers fight it can be for petty reasons, but there is also the chance that something deeper is occurring under the surface. If it seems like your siblings are always picking a fight with you, investigate if:* They are bored.
* They are hungry or tired, both of which will make them irritable.
* They feel competitive with you.
* They are feeling lonely or in need of attention.
* They are still too young to be mature and logical.
* They are having a hard time at school, with their friends or in a relationship.
* They still bear a grudge from a past argument.
* They don't understand your habits or preferences.
* They have suffered through a recent traumatic event.
Avoid Future Conflicts
How?? take a look friend.....* Be the bigger person. Sidestep remarks or actions that are meant to open a fight.
* Ignore patronising or teasing behaviour.
* Find a hobby that you can carry out alone and away from the risk of fighting.
* Get out of the house if you feel an argument coming on.
* Offer to involve your siblings in your plans, if they can behave appropriately.
* Open an honest discussion with your siblings. See if anything is bothering them.
* Enlist the aid of your parents or another trusted adult if you are worried.
Resolving Sibling Conflicts
* Learn to compromise. No one likes to feel like the loser.
* Let it end. Don't tease or taunt when an argument is meant to be finished.
* Remain calm. Nothing productive will be achieved by yelling or slamming doors.
* Remove yourself before an argument can become violent.
* Know what you want. If you don't want to achieve something, then why are you fighting?
* Ask someone outside of the conflict to mediate. Agree to follow their decision.
* Not bear a grudge. Nothing will ever be solved if you must revisit a past argument all the time.
Dealing with your siblings can be frustrating and tiring, but it must be done if you want any sort of peace when you are at home. Think about them like roommates, and realise that resolving arguments with your siblings will be good practice for the future. Most fights can be sorted by remaining calm and rational.
-002.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment